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Atoke's Diary - December, 2010

 

February, 2012all entries

  • 6 Feb Mr Right Versus Mrs Right ...

October, 2011all entries

  • 12 Oct AIN'T NO SUNSHINE AT MY WEDDING!

September, 2011all entries

  • 23 Sep All the Single Ladies!!! ...’put a ring on it‘
  • 21 Sep Single and VERY READY to Mingle... Like Duh!

May, 2011all entries

  • 4 May OFFICIALLY MRS. ATOKE FEMI-OLANIYAN {The Latest Bride in Town}

March, 2011all entries

  • 16 Mar Wedding Planning 101… Moms know best!

February, 2011all entries

  • 17 Feb Dad said I should...
  • 7 Feb AFTER THE HOLIDAY...

December, 2010all entries

  • 13 Dec My ‘Keresimesi’ Party (1) – A table for Two!
  • 1 Dec The Truth And Nothing but the Truth... Guilty as Charged!

November, 2010all entries

  • 24 Nov Twice bitten … Thrice shy! {Finally … Test results are out}
  • 8 Nov Halloween Mess Up... Big time!(My fear of Halloween has caught up with me)

October, 2010all entries

  • 18 Oct I will like to date you... ah!!!
  • 6 Oct Sammy !

September, 2010all entries

  • 28 Sep The New Guy (Quality Prospect Nos. 3)!
  • 15 Sep Is it too soon?!
  • 6 Sep Another candidate?!

August, 2010all entries

  • 30 Aug The Date...
  • 29 Aug Mummy the Match Maker?!
  • 23 Aug Through the microscope...
  • 18 Aug Tick! Tock!!
  • 16 Aug The only thing missing is?!

July, 2010all entries

  • 30 Jul No, he didn't!!!
  • 28 Jul What Is Going On?!

February, 2010all entries

  • 19 Feb Part 4: I no fit shout sef
  • 15 Feb Part 3 - Boxing Ring
  • 1 Feb Part 2 - From frying pan to fire, ...i tire

January, 2010all entries

  • 26 Jan Part 1 - Na My Wedding
 

My ‘Keresimesi’ Party (1) – A table for Two!

Dec
13

So this weekend happened to be the time my office decided to have our annual Christmas party and of course I was highly dreading it due to the ingenious idea of the “Bring a partner” theme that was chosen for this year’s theme would be putting it mildly.
 
After all the Drama surrounding my last post, I am sad to write that I have not heard or seen from Femi since then. I feel really bad because when I think about it all that happened was my fault like he said sha. With an apology on my lips and hope in my heart I decided to call him and invite him to the party which was to hold on Friday after office hours. The call was short and to the point: he was fine and how was I doing? No, he didn’t want to come to the party with me, because he just couldn’t. Have a nice time at the party and oh try not to get drunk.
OMG!! He actually said that, I was so embarrassed and so pissed and so sad that I just said a quick goodbye, hung-up and had myself a good cry. When I had gotten myself together I called up Joys Big brother who was engaged to our friend Oby (not currently in town), he had kinda become like an elder bro to me and asked him to please go with me, promising that we would leave early. Being the sweetheart that he is, he said yes.
 
And so Friday came and went as depressing as I thought it would be. I thank God for Joy’s bro, he just made me laugh so much for the little time we were at the party that I actually almost wanted to stay, but my sadness got the better of me and I couldn’t stand the cheery and festive environment anymore.
By the 5th time I had asked Joy’s bro to tell me if and when he wanted to leave, I think he got the drift that all was not too well with me and finally asked me if i wanted to go home... as we were about to leave whom did I see – Femi outside the barbecue spot, I was so shocked and almost didn’t believe I saw right until he called my name – “hi Atoke”;
 
I seemed to have lost my voice... until John that’s joy’s bro tapped me back to reality when he outstretched his hand and shook Femi with a “chairman wassup, I’m John”. All I could say was “What are you doing here?”. I realised just how rude that sounded when he said, “i thought i should surprise you but it seems...” and with a look at John, he said – “guy later”, then turned back to me and “I guess I’ll talk to you some other time”.
 
Meaning what!?! I didn’t get what had happened in fact I was more pissed at the fact he came and then assumed that John was... well whatever he assumed John was. *hiss* if i hadn’t told him the truth all this wouldn’t be happening o, i blame myself though i can’t take it back.
 
Thus my weekend was a total disaster. Yes, I would like to say that it got better, but alas on Saturday my mom called me and scolded me about my ways with men saying that Femi had come to visit with his mom and was really upset about something I did.
Them my dad called on Sunday to say that my mom was giving him stress that he should talk to me to change my ways and such... Sigh
So I welcome Monday and the distraction of work with great relish...
 
 
Signed
a very emotionally strung Atoks...
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The Truth And Nothing but the Truth... Guilty as Charged!

Dec
01
 
…  so Help me God. I really hope the truth sets me free o!
 
To say this weekend was the worst weekend of my life would be putting it mildly. I had woken up on Saturday morning and had talked myself into getting out of bed and getting around to making breakfast when someone started knocking on the door and ringing the bell like there was a fire in the next flat.
I was so scared that i ran to the door in my night clothes (my very skimpy night clothes) and had already opened the door before i realized that it could have been anybody and i was half naked, when i looked up from my one second regret to find Femi looking at me with… well a mixture of relief, shock and well something else that i still don't want to name for the sake of my own sanity. He swallowed hard, then looked me up and down before managing to say in barely a whisper "Thank God you are ok". At this point i am still trying to figure out what it is i should be feeling, happiness that he was here because as i looked at him i realized i had actually missed him a lot, dread that i would have to explain why i had been avoiding him or fear of what his reaction would be should i decide to tell him the truth and nothing but the whole truth.
 
After giving that weird look, he said "are you going to let me in?”;  I stepped back to let him in and had barely gotten the door closed when he said again "and could you please find something to wear before i stop thinking with my head and do something completely stupid that i would regret later"; since i was too busy day dreaming about how good he looked and how much i had missed him and all that jazz, i had completely forgotten that i was barely wearing anything and when i looked at his face and saw how hard he was trying to stop himself from doing anything stupid, my brain snapped into action and i ran into the room to change into something less umm more decent.
I decided to take a quick shower and by the time i came out i was more in control of my emotions, to an extent. I went straight to the kitchen and got him something to drink while i finished making breakfast for both of us. As soon as he finished his meal, he looked at me for a long while and then said "do you really want me to ask you or are you going to tell me" After all the discussions i had had with people about what to do and how to handle the situation had flashed through my mind, i finally decided i was gonna tell him the truth, i liked him enough to give him a sincere and honest answer.
I asked him to allow me clear the dishes and i would explain everything. As i cleared the dishes i kept wondering how i would say it, praying also that Joy who had gone to spend the weekend with her folks would just come home and save me…
 
I went back to the parlor, sat down beside him, looked him in the eye and "i went out for a halloween party with a friend… sorry some guy i met at a party joy took me to. Anyways, at the party i got a bit drunk and before i knew it it was morning and i was waking up in his bed without my clothes and when i asked him what had happened as i couldn't recall, he said nothing had happened. So i went and did a test and something actually had happened and when i called him to ask he said that though he was drunk too that i consented "sobs"'. And i have been feeling so guilty and terrible since then that i dent know how i would fcae you let alone look you in the eye and tell you all this so…" At this point after the rush of words i closed my eyes took a deep breath and waited for him to get up and leave. I could already imagine the hurt and disgust on his face when "so who is this guy that you felt safe enough to go out with on your own that you just happened to skip telling me about?" {duh its not like we're dating so quit acting all posessive plzzzzz"}.
 
I couldn't quite face him as i answered him "his name is Chidi, he is a secondary school friend of mine and i… happened to meet him when… you travelled"
"Well, that explains why i was the only one doing all the keeping in touch while I was away, and are you really so slow that you can't notice when a guy has bad intentions towards you? Or where you too busy getting drunk so that he could have his way with you?"
"God Atoke, you ought to feel guilty, what do you expect me to do, I really do like you a lot but this is just too much to swallow, how could you do this to me… if you where me what would you do?"
 
After a long pause and a heavy sigh, he said "take care"!
Oh God not again... hummph"
 
He hasn't called me since then. Sigh… this is too much for me too, what does “take care” mean?
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