Wedding Vows – What do they really mean; “till death do us part” OR “till our love Dies”?

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The exchange of wedding vows is an integral part of a wedding ceremony. It is a very romantic moment and often the perfect place to express your feelings towards your partner; though most religious denominations use a customary vow; truth is, you can actually insist on adding your own personal written vows either before or after the customary vow.
Whether you're writing your own wedding vows or planning to have the traditional vows at your wedding ceremony, exchanging your wedding vows can be one of the most memorable moments of your wedding day; it is where you are pledging to remain committed to your partner and be true to him/her forever.
 
Wedding vow is a sacred promise between bride and groom in front of God and witnesses to love each other and remain committed to one another through thick and thin.
Every relationship needs nurturing and one should not seek alternatives if the relationship is perceived as not going well; remember no one is perfect. One needs to work on their differences and not focus on what has gone wrong, but on how it will be solved. Even if one do find an alternative, there is no guarantee the second wedding will work; it is therefore better to abide by the solemn promise or wedding vows exchanged, by working towards reconciling all differences and learn most importantly to compromise.

Exchange of Wedding vows are usually observed by families and friends who are witnesses at the ceremony where the couple promises to love each other for all eternity and symbolize this love by exchanging rings. In recent times, we have seen a rather downward spiral of these vows because couples are no longer committed to the ‘forever’ part due to conflicts and irreconcilable differences. This trend is disheartening and whether the couple agrees or not, it impacts negatively on them and their children, if any. Divorce/Separation is never easy to bear or cope with.
 
Our advice for couples is to learn to be mentally strong, knowing that all marriages have their ups and downs.
Couples should reduce or eliminate the interference of third party in their homes. We are all created uniquely and our approach to challenges and subsequent solution proffered is pertinent to each person; your husband can not be like your friend’s husband or your father and your wife can not be a perfect homemaker. Every person has their positive and negative part and your job as the other ‘half’ / ‘helpmeet’ is to help minimize the negative and improve more on the positive sides. Don’t always focus on your partner’s bad deeds. Love does not keep tabs on wrongdoings.
Remember, breaking the wedding vows makes you more miserable, so strive to remain committed.
 
On another note, we cannot safely say that recanting on marital vows is right or wrong, good or bad.
It is a wonderful thing to be with one person for as long as the relationship is of mutual benefit to help each other grow, to explore life and to engage your minds in new areas; but to remain together because of some recited obligation, long after you do not fit into each other’s lives or long after you have stopped growing and have no common purpose. This can be likened to the signing of contract with an employer stating, “I will work here, and in this job until death do us part. And no matter how my interests or life goals change, no matter how dissatisfied I am with this job, no matter how many other areas of my life I could fulfill if I were to have a different job, I will still stay with you as long as I live.”
 
Does this make any sense at all? Of course not! Yet that is what couples do when they promise to remain together for the remainder of their lives; even after they have stopped loving each other or no longer have anything in common.
There is no moral justification to subject oneself to a lifetime/lifelong of unhappiness.

Traditional wedding vows are gradually being replaced by personalized wedding vows. It is true that couples especially in the western world are replacing the traditional wedding vows – “till death do us apart” with “till we love and live together, we will love each other” or “As long as our love last”. These personalized vows means couple are ready to go out of the relationship easily, if it is not working.
Couples are getting more practical and losing the sentiments or societal norms usually associated with marital vows or making a solemn vow to an individual to a lifetime of genuine commitment despite challenges encountered. They are not keen on making efforts to repair a relationship they believe doomed.  

Unconditional wedding vows are changing to Conditional wedding vows and with most cases of conditional vows; there are rare chances of continuity with a higher chance of breaking up.
 
The following are some of our Denominational Traditional vows
Catholic Wedding Vows
"I, ___, take you, ___, to be my lawful wife/husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and health, until death do us part."
OR:         "I, ___, take you, ___, to be my husband/wife. I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love and honor you all the days of my life."
Episcopal Wedding Vows
"In the name of God, I, ___, take you, ___, to be my husband/wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and health, to love and to cherish, until we are parted by death -- this is my solemn vow."
Muslim Wedding Vows
Most Muslim couples do not recite vows, but rather heed the words of the imam (cleric), who speaks about the meaning of marriage and the couple's responsibilities to each other and to Allah during the Nikkah ceremony. At the end of this ritual, the couple consents to become husband and wife, and they are blessed by the congregation. However, some Muslim brides and grooms do recite vows -- here is a common recitation:
Bride: "I, ___, offer you myself in marriage in accordance with the instructions of the Holy Quran and the Holy Prophet - peace and blessing be upon him. I pledge, in honesty and with sincerity, to be for you an obedient and faithful wife."
Groom: "I pledge, in honesty and sincerity, to be for you a faithful and helpful husband."
Protestant Wedding Vows
"I, ___, take thee, ___, to be my wedded husband/wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part, according to God's holy ordinance; and thereto I pledge thee my faith/myself to you."
 
Orthodox Wedding Vows
Many branches of the Orthodox Church use silent vows during the ceremony -- an introspective prayer in which the couple promises to be loyal and loving to each other. In the Russian tradition, however, vows are spoken out loud: "I, ___, take you, ___, as my wedded wife/husband and I promise you love, honor, and respect; to be faithful to you, and not to forsake you until death do us part. So help me God, one in the Holy Trinity, and all the Saints."
If you're thinking of writing your own marriage vows or personalizing your ceremony by reading meaningful passages, explore the world's treasure trove of beautiful literature. Prose, poetry, religious texts, modern spiritual writing, Hollywood movies, and folk songs can all provide inspiration. Here are several great verses.
From "Sonnet 116," in Love Poems and Sonnets of William Shakespeare:
Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O no! It is an ever-fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken
From "How Do I Love Thee?” by Elizabeth Barrett Browning in One Hundred and One Classic Love Poems:
How do I love thee? Let me count the ways
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach
From "The Book of Ruth," 1: 16-17 in the Bible
For whither thou goest, I will go;
And where thou lodgest, I will lodge;
Thy people shall be my people;
And thy God my God
Where thou diest, will I die and there will I be buried;
Jehovah do so to me and more also, if aught but death part thee and me
 
For more poems or quotes to inspire your personal wedding vows try the
  • Books of Solomon - Proverbs & Songs of Solomon
  • The Book Of Love; edited by Diane Ackerman and Jeanne MacKin (Norton, 1998); this anthology includes passages from love letters.
  • Into the Garden : A wedding Anthology: edited by Robert Hass and Stephen Mitchell (Harper Perennial, 1994)
So, what school of thought do you belong to – ‘Till death do us part’ or ‘Till our love dies’; let us know.
 
 
Credits: 
               
                Associatedcontent.com.
                Wedding vows/poem collection sourced from ‘Theknot.com’.

3 comments

by Joy Joy added almost 4 years ago

i belong to ...
"till death do us part"...

by Oluwatimilehin Agbolade Adebayo added almost 4 years ago

till death do us part! Mr & Mrs Abiola forever! What God n Namywedding has joined together let no man put asunder.

by Oluwatimilehin Agbolade Adebayo added almost 4 years ago

i forgot to add if it dies it wasnt ever love! try lust!

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