The Igbo Traditional Wedding

Igbo_maiden

‘Nne, I want my Igba Nkwu to be something to write about’, Ijeoma said to me with so much excitement.

‘Sure, why not? The last time I checked, you made me the sacrificial lamb for a ‘ritualistic wedding ceremony’. Does a man need to rob a bank or be super-duper rich to marry an Igbo girl?’ Adewale cuts in mockingly with his strong ‘britico’ accent.

‘Is it my fault that I am an Igbo girl….eh…Adewale? Why must our own wedding be an issue?’ she snaps back in an angry tone.

‘Enough, both of you’, I quickly chipped in to douse the all too frequent war of words that was about to erupt between the two love birds over the customary Igbo traditional marriage ceremony – popularly referred to as ‘Igba Nkwu Nwanyi’. It means “The Wine Carrying of a Woman” and for many decades has been generally accepted as the Igbo word for traditional marriage.

So what really does an Igbo traditional marriage entail?

Introduction – Ikwu Aka (Knocking)
Marriage in Igboland is not just an affair between the future husband and wife but also involves the parents, the extended family and villages. When you’re planning for the introductory part of your proposed union, you must bear in mind that there are two stages in this process. Depending on the Igbo community involved, the intending groom will be required to make two visits to the bride to be’s family.

First, the intending groom, accompanied by his father or any elder relative or close family friend will visit the father of the bride to be formerly introduced and state their intention. They will then agree on a latter time to meet with other members of the bride to be’s family. No gift is required for this initial visit.

For the return visit, the intending groom’s family (not limited to the parents) will meet with the bride to be’s family and restate their intention. At this stage, it is expected that the bride to be’s family will have had ample time to investigate the groom to be’s family and must have reached a conclusion on the proposal. The prerequisites for this visit may vary from village to village, but, basically some of the key items offered as gift to the host family include Kolanuts, Wines (alcoholic/non-alcoholic) and wrappers (Nigerian/Holland prints). Money (cash gift) is usually not offered at this point in order not to be misrepresented.

Traditional Marriage – Igba Nwku (Engagement)

At this stage, a date has been agreed for the ‘Igba Nkwu’ to hold at the paternal home of the bride to be. The intending groom would have been handed a list of items to present at the engagement. The list usually is communicated after the introduction and is an obligatory part of completing the Igba Nkwu, which could either be a close family event or a big event including the whole “village”. The items on the lists are usually symbolic and cover different sections of the ceremony.

Typical Igbo Traditional List for the Groom
Section A : UMUADA (ALL KINDRED DAUGHTERS)
Wrappers and Blouses– (George/Hollandis/Nigerian Wax)
Jewelry – (Gold plated earings, necklaces)
Head ties and Shoes (Different types and colours)
Hand bags and wrist watches (Different types and colours)
Toiletries (Body creams, bathing soaps, washing detergents, etc.)
Beverages and food items
Cash gift (lump sum) –Ogwe ego
Drinks (Malt & Minerals)
Section B: NMANYA UKWU (BIG WINE) – KINSMEN (UMUNNA) The items in this category will be shared amongst the heads of the extended family of the bride to be.
Bottles of Seaman’s Schnapps (millennium brand)
Kolanuts
Gallons of Palmwine
Cartons of Beer, Malt and Mineral drinks
Heads of Tobacco with potash
Rolls of cigarettes
1 goat
Cash gift (Lump sum) – Ego Umu’Nna
Other cash gifts that may be demanded during the course of the ceremony
“Ego nfotu ite” (cash to bring down symbolic cooking pot) – ₦ 1,000
“Ncha kishi udu” (Toasting of wine) – ₦ 1,000
“Ego Ogo cherem” (money for the inlaws) – ₦ 50,000
“Ego maternity” (money for future maternity) – ₦ 1,000
“Ego Onye Eze” (money for village chief) – ₦ 1,500
“Ogwe Ego” (lump sum) – ₦ 5,000
Section C: N’MEPE UZO (OPENING OF GATE) – GENERAL
30 tubers of Yam
2 bags of Rice
2 bags of Salt
2 cartons of Star Beer
2 cartons of Guinness Stout
2 cartons of Maltina
6 crates of Minerals
3 bottles of Seaman’s Schnapps (millennium brand)
30 bulbs of onions
1 gallon of red Palm oil (10 -25 litres)
1 gallon of Groundnut oil (25 litres)
A basin of Okporoko (Stockfish)
2 pieces of Goat leg (Ukwu Anu ewu)
25 loaves of Bread
1 carton of Tin Tomatoes
1 carton of Tin Milk
1 carton of Tablet soap
20 Pieces of Morning Rose powder
1 gallon of Kerosene
20 heads of Tobacco
10 packets of cigarettes
5 pieces of George/Hollandis/Nigerian Wax
3 pieces of Umbrella
1 Big Box (Apati)
2 Big Basins
2 pieces of Igbo Blouse
2 pieces of Headties
Gold necklaces and Wrist watches (minimum of 2 pieces)
1 piece of Lantern/Lamp
“Ikpo Onu Aku Nwayi” (Bride price) – Negotiable
 


Usually the UMUADA and UMUNNA’s are quite a number in each clan and a minimum of three pieces/cartons per item above will be demanded before the bride to be is let out of her father’s house on the engagement day. More often than not, their demands are non-negotiable but can be influenced by the bride to be’s family.
 

The items required in the general section vary from village to village and can be negotiated with bride to be’s family. In recent times, the intending bride’s father waives most of the requirements that ordinarily would be meant for him and his immediate family and request the intending groom to provide only the other items required in the first two sections.


Dress and Grooming

At traditional marriage wedding ceremonies, many have adopted the Igbo equivalent for ‘Aso Ebi’ referred to as ‘Akwa Nde Mbiriechi’. Before deciding on your ‘Akwa Nde Mbiriechi’, consideration should be giving to the type of fabric that would be most suitable for the occasion and will harmonize with the overall theme of your ‘Igba Nkwu’ (traditional marriage). 


Bride:
You can either choose the olden attire Igbo maidens adorn at special occasions. You will be beautified in ‘Nzu’ (white clay) painted on your body, while covering your upper body and waist areas with pieces of ‘Akwete’ cloth (African print).
You can equally attend your own ceremony dressed in a contemporary ‘Akwete’. This is a traditional wrapper that some refer to as ‘Abada’ which usually is made up of 5 yards of either a Nigerian Wax fabric (Ankara), Holladis (Holland WAX), or the popularly used George (Mirror George) material and a puffed sleeve blouse sewn with 1½ yards of any laced/hand-cut fabric.  You can even choose to wear both options on your special day.


Accessories: An Igbo bride isn’t fully dressed without adorning some complementing accessories such as ‘Jigida’ (waist beads), ‘Ihe Olu’ (coral beads), ‘Ihe Nti, Ihe Aka’ (wrist chains, rings and earrings - could be made of beads or Gold plated), ‘Akpa Aka’ (clutch bag), ‘Nchafu’ (headtie) and ‘Akpukpu-Ukwu’ (foot-wear) that will match the overall ensemble.
Groom:
Back in the days, the groom wore a pullover shirt called ‘Isiagu’ or ‘Ishi Agu’ (patterned with Lions heads and could be short or long sleeved) on a plain coloured trouser (preferably black). In more recent times, particularly where the groom is not Igbo, the intending groom may choose to wear any other embroidered material including Brocade, Jacquard or Lace over a plain coloured trouser.


Accessories: You can accessorise your attire with the traditional Igbo men’s hat ‘Okpu Agu’ (a red or black hat), coral beads and a fashionable walking stick.


Other party paraphernalia such as catering, decoration, video and still photography, music and a lot more side attractions you get these days at weddings also feature at a traditional Igbo ‘Igba Nkwu’. The most important thing for the prospective couple is to plan out these details in line with their set budget. Just like any other wedding outside Ndigbo, marital expenses are mostly optional. No amount can balance the value of the man or woman you choose to marry, regardless of your race, culture or tribe.

 

Contributed by Susan Adirije

74 comments

by Joy Joy added over 4 years ago

what the...
Jeez..the list is endless OMG
IS IT TRUE THAT WEN D GAL IN QUESTION STUDIES ABROAD THE PRICE INCREASES IN VALUE?

by Sweetchild added over 4 years ago

wow! This is very enlightening. Well written too.

by Mo gbo mo ya added over 4 years ago

More dan true dearie. If she now studies medcine,pharmacy or has a master degree then the list will be times two.

by Lola added over 4 years ago

na wa oh they want kill person if u spend all dis money just for traditional marriage wetin the girl go come chop if u marry her

by Ogbuji Chidinma added over 4 years ago

Its a reality,but not all a paid. Cos dere is consideration at d end of d day.

by Joy Joy added over 4 years ago

@xtaina.. LWKMD
O boy...ibo gals are truly expensive mehn, u need to be rich to go there.

by meeboni added over 4 years ago

ok this is a big WOW!!!
i guess there would be some consentions from the bride's family o!!!!

by Mojisola added over 4 years ago

...huh huh, its a very big tin 4 dis kind expensive wedding ceremony ò. I ve heard about it b4 & tot sum tins were exaggerated but wit d true picture coming thru dis medium,i believe but NA WA Ò. If u wan marry ibo girl, TIE UR SÓKÒTÒ WEL WEL Ò

by agatha ngozi izuogu added over 4 years ago

My dear friends, honestly speaking, it is only in sum part of ibo land dat u can witness such a tradition and i can comfortably tell u where u can find such tradition. Places like mbaise, mbaitolu, mbano, owerri and orlu all is in imo state. And every thing depends on d parents. Mbaise people are well known 4 dat. My own brother was a victim, u can imagine where d paying of only d bride prize was at d cost of 500, hundred thousand naira. I am an ibo lady 4rm akokwa in ideato north L.G.A of imo state. I am nt yet married but i have 4 sisters dat are married and my parents did nt drive away d inlaws with a scarey prize list and dey are all graduates. Every thing depends on individuals. Agatha izuogu.

by Nnenna added over 4 years ago

@ Ngozi, that you were particular in ur statement is very surprising. Worse still coming from an Ibo lady.
Everywhere in Ibo land they give out lists for the Igba Nkwu and Imo State which is my home state is not an exception.
The list varies from place to place some are more than the others so you can't say Mbaise is well known for that.
I am an Mbaise lady and my husband is Mbaise too.
We had our trad in December and I tell you my parents were very understanding.
This list we are talking about is usually put together by the kinsmen and not the parents of the bride like most people think and it is negotiable depending on the parents of the bride.
So please we should not have the impression that everything in the list must be done the way it is.

by Enitan added over 4 years ago

you guys are the best.wish i were an igbo girl so i could collect all this items.lol

by Oladimeji Kemi added over 4 years ago

Thank you for this education. I had been longing wanting to know all about Igbo traditional marriage and why do men make noise about paying Igbo lady's dowry. This is interesting. Thank you. My brother needs to work harder then, to marry his girl.

by Gossip girl added over 4 years ago

@ christiana..is ur brother/friend/relative married to an igbo girl who studied medicine,pharmacy or has a masters degree and paid twice of what was listed above? Honey..lets not exaggerate.. Does it mean that there are no "poor" men ,so to say,married to igbo girls? of course not.. Agreed, buying or paying for what is tradionally needed to marry an igbo girl is probably more expensive that what you will find in other tribes but as chidinma and meeboni said, it all depends on the Bride and her family..there is always consentions..most of the time..

by agatha ngozi izuogu added over 4 years ago

nnenna, please don't get me wrong, i told you that my own brother went to mbaise and was asked to provide half a million for only bride prize, only bride prize, the igba nkwu and church wedding was going to take place too. but regret ably, the girl died two weeks b4 the D-DAY. she died of kidney failure. it was so painful because, we all in my house loved her with all our hearts. my brother is still in the state of mourning till now, this march made it one year that she passed on. MAY HER SOUL CONTINUE TO REST IN PEACE
AMEN.
nnenna, you married an mbaise man, it is usually more expensive when the guy is coming from outside mbaise, just be truthful to your self. it is the bitter truth. stay blessed girl okay. bye.

by Joy Joy added over 4 years ago

....ITS TRUE MY BRO IS MARRIED TO AN MBAISE GAL...N I WAS SO NGRY WIT D IBO TRADITION DAT , IT ALMOST MADE ME HATE MY INLAWS UNTIL I WAS ENLIGHTENED.
ALL COS HE LIVES IN ABJ.
MBAISE/UMUNA'S PPLE PLZ TAKE IT EASY O...U R CHASING SOME BROS. AWAY

by Mo gbo mo ya added over 4 years ago

@gossip girl yes i have a friend whose father collected a jeep as her bride price cos she has a masters degree from a uk univeristy. Lets be real with ourselves here. Igbo bride prices are expensiv or why you explain why they dont marry young or how many men between the ages of 24 to 30 do you see marrying Ibgo women? if there are any you can be sure they will be few in numbers.

by Nkechi Cassandra Nwuka added over 4 years ago

Am proud 2 b an igbo girl,why most of our guy marry late is dat they dont want us 2 lack wen they marry,they feel they nid 2 make all d money b4 they marry which is not d best idea.The guys are not complaining abt d bride price so i dont c d reason y d girls should most especially nor igbo ladies............bye

by Grace I added over 4 years ago

Sounds enthralling..... God bless you...

by Evelyn added over 4 years ago

I tink if u truely luv sm1 very much, d list 2 marry her shouldnt be a problem, afterall u want 2 marry, but all d same mbaise people are mordernize now u cant be driven away jst like dat, u must tink n be well 2 do b4 u tink of marriage... So guy hurry while stock last n grab ur own lady at mbaise!!!

by Christian Ikechukwu Omesiete added over 4 years ago

Guys, make una no leave una igbo Babes because of watin una read oh! It all true but depending on the family,they can reduce most of those things on the list to make it easier you know, just as Nnenna said........God bless all d Guys trying to settled down with a lady this year. Amen

by Joseph C Ogbonna added over 4 years ago

Amen to that...e no easy!

by Joseph C Ogbonna added over 4 years ago

List or no list 1 thng that shouldnt be far from our minds is that if the couple are destined to be together nothing can mar the marriage not even that GREAT list . but we should shy away from optimistic theories and be realistic with ourselves marriage aint a do-or-die.period.

by Aja Igwe Nnamdi added over 4 years ago

Pls this article does not apply 2 d entire Igbo land.

by tobe added over 4 years ago

am an igbo guy but this expensive marriage does not apply to every igbo is mainly in some part of imo state

by oluchi rosemary onu added over 4 years ago

Tobe pls u are correct it does not apply to whole of igbo only imo state precisely. Am from enugu and we dnt even give list.

by Oluchi Marc added over 4 years ago

The truth is dat some kinsmen r greedy...they want 2 get d maximum they can from d intending groom. On the other hand, some fathers are selfish and would want to milk their daughter's suitor dry. If not, some things in this list are negotiable cos in igbo land, there's this adage dat says 'marrying a wife is not conclusive'.
On Mbaise, i must concur that most parts of d town av outrageous list esp when they know d man is well-to-do and is not from the area...afterall, there are palm wine tappers and indigent farmers who marry too. ...hmmm i've talked too much already.

by Happiness added over 4 years ago

as our faces are differents so our culture and traditions, people differs so are families, the fact that sum collect millions is not an assurance that others do so. am an ibo lady and am glad am, i have no regreats but i wan tu to know that its not all the families in igbo land that demands for millions from their inlaws, it does not matter how much u spend what matters is happiness in ur home, love and understanding btween the couples and not money money money

by Lex Akindumila added over 4 years ago

I have just been informed that this is a tempered list and that whoever gets this kind of list should be thanking God. And I ask whether this is not human trafficking.

by josephine added over 4 years ago

We should not desive ourself anymore,i have witness many ibo trad in most of the ceremony all this list end in the paper. if this is rael 90% of their lady will end up marrying thier father, brother or the kinsmen that prepared the list. just imagine 10 pack of cigarattes ha ha hah ahh ha ha.

by CHIZZY added over 4 years ago

Am an Igbo lady, from Imo State. It all depends on d bride's family, d umunna (kinsmen) will want d guy to do all dat's in d list but d bride's dad or brother has d final say. Am 4rm Mgbidi preparing my tradt'l to Owerri guy come dis June and am proud to be IGBO.

by Elmar C added over 4 years ago

my people, i have read,heard but not seen nor witness any yet with my two naked korokoro eye,but kom to tnk of it Nndi-Igbos are trying by d time u carry 500 gramms go marry, na wetin husband and wife go kan take manage their lives after wedding?In dis story there is atom of truth,cos my fiance used to hav an igbo guy from Imo state in his late thirties not married when u ask he tells u to forget it I now see d reason.

by Elmar C added over 4 years ago

uuumunamo odikwa easy okwaya? Magnels

by spencer added over 4 years ago

the lord will help us!!!!

by Ajiboye Afolabi added over 4 years ago

Its just like selling the girl!!! what kind of thing is this...but Oluchi did not tell me all this, all she tells me is that she loves me and we should rush and do the traditional wedding....THANK GOD FOR THE REVELATION

by Mary added over 4 years ago

My dear Ajiboye, i am an ibo girl and 3 of my sisters are married to Yoruba guys. So don't use this as an excuse, if you truly love 'Oulchi' list shouldn't be a barrier. Its all depends on the family and more especially, if the love is there.

by Mary added over 4 years ago

I am proud to be an Igbo lady, from Abia State. It all depends on d bride's family, d umunna (kinsmen) will want d guy to do all tha's in d list and even more but d bride's dad n brothers has d final say. Am 4rm Idima preparing my tradtitonal to Anambra guy. I wld have married a yoruba guy but my parents were already disturbed bcos of my 3 sisters who are already married to yoruba guys. If you know the value of the girl u want to marry, list shouldn't be a barrier bcos it is not a must you do everything at once.

by ADAMAZI Events added over 4 years ago

In my neck of the woods Arochukwu the list differs from one village to the next and the girl's parents have nothing to do with it. The list is collected from the elders of the family.

That list is not complete. Where are the gifts for the parents? These things can be worked out between the two families.

Like Mary said not everything must be done at once. The list can break a bank so both families can work it out and deal with the most important ones.

by Kobi Iwegbu-oworu added over 4 years ago

i am an ibo girl married to an ijebu-ode man and my list was nt up to 1/4 of this outrageous items.and i am a lawyer by profession.b4 marriage my mother-in-law anted to go gaga with fear that my family was gooing to cut her sons throat with my list.the only expensive thing on dt list was a cow.thats all.i pleaded for them to erase most of the things on dt list cos they heard my husband lives in uk and studied here so my pple were ready.so it all depends on d brides family.u need to plan for u futeur.ur wedding must nt chop ur life saving.we,ve been married for 5yrs.so men dont run frm ibo women.our list is negotiable.

by baby added over 4 years ago

haba........the list is too much for an igbo marriage.
i am from the igbo speaking part of the country,specifically onitsha in anambra state and our own traditional marriage is not expensive at all cos we believe that we are not and we will never sell our daughters

by olaleye muhammed added over 4 years ago

mohammed,this is unimaginable! i think the best thing is for couple to understand each other and go ahead with their life.this culture simply encourage bastered in our society and it will never help in the long run

by adetola adeniyi added over 4 years ago

I love igbo weddings,they have a very rich culture that they still exihibit

by Chika Onyesi added over 4 years ago

get your facts right ok, what part of the igbo land demands for so much? believe me most igbo states demands far far less than what am seeing.

by Munachi added over 4 years ago

Anyway this happens in some places but on my own side Enugu state, it is cheap. In fact I married without any list from my wife's parent. That is their own culture.

by annie added over 4 years ago

really interesting...how about in case the groom is living abroad and can't be there for the traditional wedding? can the Igbo traditional wedding still be done without him?

by Princewill added over 4 years ago

Well, igbo culture is just an expensive culture,since igbankwu nwaayi is very expensive igbo girl should knw wat the wil do cos guys can not spend all dis money in traditional wedding.cos is 2 much.

by Kenechukwu Divine added over 4 years ago

Infact imo state girl re very expensive,but in Nnewi Anambara State, my home town you use #150,000 & do ur traditional wedding. So guys should come & grab ur girl nw. Cos is less expensive.

by Joy Joy added over 4 years ago

@lex akindu...
lol
i now wonder what the "untempered list will look like?
eiwo!!!
well i think its because they are extermely beautiful posessing all the right things as women....lol...
if u like n know their worth then go for it..
lwkmd

by Joy Joy added over 4 years ago

more like ...grab ya copy nowwwwwwwwww""""""""
lwkm

by Hilda added over 4 years ago

Wo wrote dis so called list.ur not even sure of dos cuz it applies only in ur hometown and am damn sure ure from Imo state!

by Hilda added over 4 years ago

Am proudly an ibo gal an we dnt even ask 4 1tenth of dos tins listed in dat list.Mr newscaster stop spoilin our image n pls remove dat list!

by Fine Igbogirl added over 4 years ago

I am Igbo, from Owerri..........My goodness you should see my list!!!!!!
it is out of this world!. (scared the lights out of my non-ibo hubby to be)

I tell you, you can feed a village with it! and open a departmental store too!
I was livid when I saw it......plain extortion if you ask me.

I promise to scan and send it in..........the list typed above is just half!
Luckily my parents are level headed, my dad struck out 80% of the list. I'm sorry but 120 tubers of yam in one list and another 80 in a different list......that is definitely not going to happen.......*kmt*

My dad said, whatever any man brings to marry their own daughters in the village is the same thing my husband to be will bring......Please they can't bankrupt the young man before we get married.

People that didn't feed me or pay my school fees.

by ebby added over 4 years ago

i am an igbo girl, and proudly one 4 dat matter.... i dnt c anytin wrong with our tradition wen it comes 2 marriage, i tink dat it all depends on d groom and d parents of d bride, som groom spend evn more dan wat we av above.... som ppl like 2 add class 2 thier trad, n d ones dat cnt afford so much d parents of d bride usually com down in dere list, afterall we av poor igbo men dat r married, but i dnt c anytin wrong with spendin so much on ur trad, if u can afford it, afterall its once in a life tym........ my opinion.

by Tina added over 4 years ago

when writing articles of this nature make sure you have a concrete fact,in igbo land traditional marriages are conducted based on different communities and states.what the writer has ended up doing here is generalising on what she doesnt know.Maybe the list so tabled is what her part of people demands...if all tha she wrote out are in essence facts..how comes the carpenters,labourers and the not too rich in her community end up getting married..it means also that in her community more unmarried girls abound..i doubt if its so...where i come from you dont need more than 150K to get your bride...the dowry is anything less that 1k and the other stuffs in the list are nothing near what the writer has shown here..

by Topaz added over 4 years ago

Another proud Igbo (Imo) girl. I believe I'm worth every penny my guy gives to my parents in appreciation for my upbringing till he found me. If he is wealthy enough to do it as above fine if not we'll do it the best way we can. Meanwhile, how come this writer didnt encourage other Igbo girls to contribute their experiences like the yoruba person did, however thanks to those who already have!

by Chilaka Chioma added about 4 years ago

I wonder what the writer of this unresearched script was thinking. You can't generalise on a wider issue like this without proper inquiries. You can do better than this piece of waste you pasted here. I am an Igbo girl from Mbaise in Imo state and our tradition differs from other Igbo speaking States. Truly,our girls are expensive per say but remember that the word expensive is RELATIVE. What is expensive to Mr. A may not be to Mr.B. It also depends on your rapport with the bride's family. Not all that are listed,are bought. KINSMEN do the writing of the lists which varry from one community to another,then the bride's PARENTS WITH THE BRIDE'S influence determine what should be bought from the list. Some parents forfeit their list just to provide for the kinsmen while some are inconsiderate. It all depends on the people involved. My dad didn't collect a dime from my sister's husband.He made sure he gave UMUNNA(Kinsmen) what belonged to them and didn't loot the groom. I'm getting married soon and I'm sure mine will be the best 'cos I'll my husband will have no cause to regret ever coming. Please mind what you send to the public! WRITER!

by Joy added about 4 years ago

I can't just believe that someone will sit down and write this kind of scarey list for the public...what kind of impression are u trying / want to create about Igbo tradition? or do u want to scare bobos away from igbo girls?

I am from Imo State (Isi ala Mbano) and am getting married to a yoruba man, intially his people wanted to stop him...because they thought my bride prize will be something else, but surprisingly my Dad proved them wrong, and our traditional marriage is coming up very soon.

To the writer get yr facts correct/right before writing pls! are they selling the pride? that they will now be collecting that kind of items?

Am pissed true.

by Stellamaris Godwin added about 4 years ago

dat list is fake.from where i come from less dan 50k can do all ure needed to do.

by Patrick Idima added almost 4 years ago

This article makes an interesting read but in the same vein it may scare away some potential suitors to Igbo women. It is true that items demanded during the different stages of marriage in Igbo land vary from State to State, town to town and in some cases, village to village. I have heard comments that Igbo women are expensive to marry and that's why most of them remain unmarried till sometimes in their forties. Some Igbo communities are known to unnecessarily inflate the cost of marrying their daughters. In such communities, wealth is worshiped and if one looks closely, such communities are underdeveloped and the people have the tendency to capitalize on the marriage of their daughters to make money. As rightly stated in the article, some of the items are negotiable. It is insane to expect a man to pay 50,000 naira as one of the items demanded. If a man makes 200,000 naira per year, how long will it take him to save enough money marry? It is sensible and respectable of woman folks if the callous and chauvinistic society in some parts of Igbo land will not chase away our intending in-laws. The results of this will be women in their old ages without husbands or a number of mothers without fathers to claim the babies or both.

by Joy Joy added over 3 years ago

lol...@ patrick idima
spinsters u mean...
ROTFL

by jacob olusola emmanuel added about 3 years ago

do what is right in time

by Willy Eneh added almost 3 years ago

Hey guys the list is just an idea of what one can just expect, it those not mean it must be like that so don’t be scared, greedy in-law goes as far as demanding more than that, while some don’t ,when they noticed that the guy, to be son in-law is rich, while wise in-law cuts a lot of things off the list, it’s all about the family and how their life style is ,but I must start by tell you guys that everything start from the ladies every lady wants her traditional marriage to be talk of town, your wife to be determined a lot here. She is the middle person between you and your in-law to be the picture she present to them determine what you’re going to expect but some time we have greedy and stubborn father or mother in-law read on.
I have escorted my close friend to a traditional marriage where the kinsmen (Umunna tries to dictate the tone of the event by rejecting and complaining that my friend did not meet up with their exorbitant demands. The father in-law is very greedy and support the ideas of his kinsmen while the wife is very understanding and moderate, we have planned it before we came that if they did not take what we came with that we are going to take it back and as well go with our new wife. When this rancor started we started parking and loading things we came with after telling them that this is what we came with now and will always complete the remaining one as time goes since in-law ,in-law things are a continue extended family issue that we can always do whatever we did not do now in-future. The elder among them stood up and said that they should not allow us to go with this entire stuff home again, because they are going to lose the woman, drinks and food that they should from hence fort accept anything a prospective in-law brought to them for any of their daughters or else they should be ready to marry their daughters or be ready to forfeit getting anything from their daughters, because things are very hard more so that he did not expect the in-law to borrow money for his marriage because they must eat after the traditional marriage and pay their bills too that he is not in support of anything beyond the reach of their prospective in-law.
So my point here is your wife to be determined how much you’re going to spend on her traditional marriage. I am very sure that my sisters will accept the fact.

by IB added almost 3 years ago

@Willy Eneh, you just made so much sense! true talk!

by Joy Joy added almost 3 years ago

@willy thumbs up mehn, b4 all d bros. strt to pick race o ...LMAO

by ISpeakTheTruth added almost 3 years ago

i love this....i can't wait to start planning my special day sometime soon.

by Epunam maureen chidinma added almost 3 years ago

Pls i beg to differ ,am from anambra state and we dont have a list &the dressing and others makeup depends on ur choice and pocket.u can choose to have an inexpensive trad wedding so stop generalising,stop panting such an ugly and materialistic picture. my village has a saying which says that "we dont sell our daughter rather we give out " thats why when the groom present the ego aku nwanyi(bride price)(which is usually less than #1000) the father takes sum and give the groom the rest remind him that he is still owing them &that paying of bride price is a life time affair hence the omugwo&the help from the groom in the future.marriage joins two families together

by UmuadaAwka added over 2 years ago

I'm an Igbo woman from Awka, Anambra State. I'm now completing my residency in paediatrics in the US and also have my Masters. Reading this article was very informative. Is the brideprice or list doubled in my case or more? Is this list also used in Awka? Thank you for your response.

by ogoke king added over 2 years ago

hi peeps! Want to knw how much it cost to marry from arondizuogu in ideato north lga imo state. Cos my hail from there. Am realy scared ooo.. I need ya contribution guys. Tanx

by Joy Joy added over 2 years ago

should be same as above oga ...ogoke king...
or simply aproach the gals parents gbam!

by Bassey Ndon added almost 2 years ago

i do really respect my late father for marrying from Anambra. He was from Ibibio land, Akwa Ibom while my mother was the first "Ada" from the family. Wow! he tried to pay all that was required.. I really respect him.
I too will like to marry from Anambra. I just feel they have very good girls and wife-materials.
What i feel is that if the girl really wants the marriage, she would convince the parents who will in turn be considerate as they speak to their"Umunna" (family members). With God its possible and really with His help you may pay all or some of it.

by Sofia added over 1 year ago

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by adeyemi omolade added over 1 year ago

Everything comment here is real, igbo list is disgusting, I am a victim of circumstances right now. I asked my self why should I spend 1 million naria for bride price. I thought of opting out but I love my gal. It solely depend on the family. But igbo people hardly play with money my brother.

From adeyemi omolade

by Jimmy Popoola added about 1 year ago

Thank God for this..am so not going to marry a nigerian again even if I could afford it....na oyinbo I go marry.. Shikena..see thievery.. So wedding now na opportunity to enrich pocket and eat ijekuje..see waste, money wey I go use to take care of her for at least half a year, make I come pour inside their hungry stomachs..lai lai..chai I'm sorry for some tradition.. No wonder them ibo men no dey get respect for their wives afterall they have paid for the girls head..SMH

by Wife-material added about 1 year ago

The author of this piece is a selfish, tribalistic bigot....

by Ndubuisi added 11 months ago

I found this read very interesting. But here is my story to add to this. Fellas, don't be scared by this. Let me break it down for you. I am from an Igbo family from Owerri North part of Imo state but we lived in Lagos. My eldest sister(Ada) was going to be married in 2002 with her boyfriend when this happened.
Statistics My sister: Recently graduated Nigerian trained Medical doctor, first daughter(Ada) in her mid 20's. My brother in law. (Accountant, mid 30's, from Delta, Father a chief of some sort). Before the wedding my dad had sent emissaries to the village to notify them that a suitor had come for my sister's hand and they sent a list( about N250,000) . It was exactly like this one. On the day of the first introduction, my brother in law made a mistake. LOL. He came with his friends..all successful guys, different types of cars. Unbeknownst to them, our relatives(and umunnas) saw this display and when the introduction was about to start, they cancelled saying that they have to make a re-estimate. few days later they sent my dad a copy of the brideprize list and my dad's reaction to this was shouting "CHINEKE!!! (God) " . They had overbloated it like 20 times. giving the excuse that "their daughter" (my sister) is 1. A graduate. 2. A medical doctor graduate, 3 the Ada, so therefore her value is high. You guys have to understand that the list is not from the parents but from the kinsmen. My dad was so mad and frustrated with these people. Anything that was not tangiblly present had to be rewarded with cash value. Some funny things that changed on the list were e.g, from one goat - 2 cows. From 2 male chickens- 13 male chickens. My dad sent for my brother inlaw, told him what transpired ,scolded him cos he caused it with his flambouyant entry and later gave him a game plan and 2 lists...the 2nd list which he should have and bring with his people with items(worth more than 5million) and an actual list which my dad trimmed down from the 2nd list(worth like 50,000) . Finally, to God be the glory. My brother inlaw(BIL) ended up settling 1/2 of the list because my dad told him the most important things to bring for these people cos these people would extort him if they were going to negotiate cash value. My dad even bought half of the stuff and told my BIL to skip those ones and concentrate on others. But the negotiations were really serious. So serious that my kinsmen appointed a big lawyer son to head the negotiations LOL. My dad gave my BIL the tip and good thing my BIL had several lawyer Cousins and friends. ..LOL.. There were mild insults exchanged. There were recesses, Big grammar was blown, LOL. There was a walkout, There was a threat to cancel and do only white wedding. All tips my dad gave my brother inlaw. In the end. Lawyers and professionals exchanged contacts, handshakes were made, My sister cried and my BIL took her out to comfort her, and I felt like knocking out some greedy kinsmen folks, opening their mouths to ask for expensive stuff like alcohol brands as if they had ever tasted these. They shared this stuff greedily...and my dad let them have it all cos he told him he wasn't selling his daughter. Fact is that my BIL could take care of all and give these greedy people what they wanted from the 2nd list, he also wanted to emphasize his class by giving them drinks like Heiniken instead of Star which made us happy(happy because his true intention was shown. He wanted to make my sister look good, which means making my family look good and that he values my family)..Bottom line is that the list above is NOT a final list. It is subject to negotiations some items can be skipped and the number of some items can be changed.. Guys you will know the kind of immediate family you're marrying into from how your wife's family helps you out. My dad's best friend did something crazy in his daughter's(same like my sister but a practising lawyer) own. Told his son inlaw to give his people N45,000 to go and get those things themselves even if it means going to Cotounou to buy them cheap cos they were making him look greedy and bad in front of his inlaws. I told my dad that I would marry an oyibo woman not an Igbo woman or Nigerian woman if it was like this cos I know the Yorubas have their own and the cost of throwing a Lagos Size owambe costs as much as these lists to which he laughed and told me I could marry who I wanted and they would support me. Today I'm 31, finishing my 2nd BSc both in Poland, ready to look for a job. Had thousands of oyibo gfs but looking to marry a black wife. A Nigerian or American woman cos there is nothing more beautiful than a sexy and cultured black woman. I have learnt that If you run away from a good woman because of a list, then you yourself have no value and are a weak man cos you run away from every challenge or hurdle that can easily be jumped over by simple negotiations(test of manhood-, ability to get what you want no matter what kind of obstacles present themselves). This igbo Igba Nkwu(Traditional wedding) emphasizes the fact that if you really love someone , then you must be ready to make a fist and fight for your love. ...Fact is that Igbo people do not sell their daughters. This tradition is there to emphasize a man's role as a protector, a provider, a gogetter, a lover, a proactive person, who can take care of his wife and his wife's family at the same time showing he is humble, intelligent, considerate, and that his love and respect for his woman, her family and his family is strong..because family to the Igbos is very important.

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