The Small Intimate Wedding

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We seem to have been conditioned here in Nigeria, that every wedding has to be large, big, extravagant  and lavish. However,  where there is the argument for  big weddings, there is a type of wedding ceremony/ reception that the modern Nigerian bride might want to consider- the small, intimate wedding.
 
First of all,  it is not easy  getting away with having a small wedding. Both the bride and the groom have to be in complete agreement, and even then, they have to convince their families that this is the best way to go. I usually find that mothers can be a bit difficult when it comes to  having to limit the number of friends they want to invite (it is all about the aso-ebi!).
If you start by setting an example from this moment on, then you will find it easy putting your feet down when that time comes. If you are already engaged, then speak with your parents or guardians first as individual, then as a couple and I’m sure they are likely to turn around.
 
Why should you have a small wedding? The first practical reason is that it is inexpensive, please note that this does not mean cheap. You can have a small wedding where the budget for everything from the food, decor, venue, drinks E.t.c  will be the total budget for food for another wedding. This does not mean your guests will not be taken care of; but it is just simple mathematics- the fewer people to cater for, the lower your budget. Of course, once you cut down the budget in terms of venue, food and drinks, then you can actually still have  the wedding of your dream in terms of the extras.
Extras  could be having a guest artistes to come and perform for example, or releasing doves during the ceremony E.t.c.
 
Another argument in favour of  a small wedding is that it is generally easier to plan and execute. If you happen to be the type of bride who likes things happening a certain way, at a certain time, in a certain progression, then throwing a small wedding will be great for you. If you want a short ceremony, the small wedding works even better.
For me, the biggest point in favour of a small intimate wedding is exactly that- it is intimate. It will be your closest friends and family; you can see everyone who came, everyone enjoys the music and can pay attention to the Master of Ceremony/Compare, everyone shares in your special day and they come away feeling the love that just been expressed.
 
You do not have to elope to acheive your small wedding and the following thoughts and tips might just be the needed ammo you need to pull it off:

  • Even if you have a big wedding, you will still not be able to invite everyone. This means some people will still say, “You did not invite me to your wedding oh”. So throw a small ceremony and have a great excuse!
  • You can still satisfy your parents by compromising. You can have a big engagement and then a small commitment ceremony. That way, your parents can invite all their friends for the traditional/ engagement ceremony, and you can invite all your friends for the Wedding reception.
  • If you want to share your vows in a quiet, intimate setting, but still like a party, then please do what my sister has resolved. Inspired by a wedding we went for recently, she said her actual wedding (Church and Reception) would be just for a 100 people or so; then she would have a Wedding Party in the evening for everyone. Our parents will be outside the venue with their (Owambe party), while her friends will be inside the venue dancing to their favorite musician. In her own funny, convoluted way, it actually might work.

 
In the end, whether you call your friends, family, colleague, neighbor, gateman etc or only a few close friends, the most  important thing for every bride is to remember- the wedding day  is not as  important than the marriage itself.

 

Contributed by Funke Bucknor-Obruthe,  Zapphaire Events

21 comments

by Joy Joy added over 4 years ago

very good ..u can av it classy for less n u won't die!
dis is wot fits naija pple, we too like posing.
tnx funke

by Oladimeji Kemi added over 4 years ago

Wedding is just the ceremonial aspect of marriage. Think more of life after wedding and prepare for it. Wedding is wedding whether big or small. Just according to your pocket.

by dallas mba added over 4 years ago

I COUNT IT AS FOOLISHNESS AN WEST OF RESOUCES BCOS AFTA THAT MAY BE UR BROTHER OR UR WIFE ASK U 4 MONEY U WILL START TELLING STORY WHILE U WERE BUSY PLEASING D WOULD AN POSING BIG GUY.SORRY 4 DEM.BY DALLAS.

by Komolafe Abimbola added over 4 years ago

i believe wedding is onces in a life time which must b done well with a thinking cap.in that,no matter how big or small u cant satisfy pple but u can only try ur best.remember is all about life after wedding which is more important

by Ofonime added over 4 years ago

Well so many believe that untill a wedding is a big one that's when its happening big time. Wedding is one time issue and as such u gotta pls ur self cus is ur day but personaly i believe in the way forward after d merriment cus its not about getting married is staying married to run ur family and what ll be d fate of that marriage if by some personal reasons all the money u spent to grace ur wedding and make it big was borrowed and d owners start coming for their debt? I believe to crown it all just cut ur coat according to ur cloth.

by Christiana Okaje added over 4 years ago

I believe since weddin is a lyf time tin, be it big or small jst make sure u 'av a gud weddin planner so tins 're put in a proper place at d right time in d right place. Remember is lyf afta weddin dat matters

by Eucharia Idigo.U added over 4 years ago

Guyz,,,After the wedding comes the marrige.The truth is that you can never have the best wedding so be wise.It is important to learn how to cut your coat according to your cloth.Just ask God for direction.

by OPALEYE PAUL added over 4 years ago

NIGERIANS SHOULD JUST GET THIS INTO THIER HEADS. ALL ABOUT WEDDING IS NOT "HOW FAR" BUT "HOW WELL". IT IS THE UPHOLDING OF THE "SET UP" HOME THAT MATTERS NOT A WEDDING FLAMBOYANCY AND I THINK THIS TYPE OF WEDDING IS EVEN GOOD FOR THE AVERAGE NIGERIANS.
THEY SHOULD HAVE IT AT THE BACK OF THEIR MINDS THAT IT'S ALWAYS BETTER TO CUT THE COAT ACCORDING TO THE CLOTH.............TOPTEE.

by Bettylina B-Pep Pepple added over 4 years ago

Funke u really spoke my heart! I even had 50 pers in mind cuz i feel d more pple u invite d more prob/worry u hav on ur hands. I'd rather hav a small romantic weddin, an exceptional weddin band for d couple and a performing artist dan hundreds of pple who still wont appreciate. "I didnt get a souvenir, i didnt eat, i was given only coke no juice or wine, my friend got a bucket i only got a spoon" etc. Aarrgh! My fiancee and i hav d same opinion luckily.

by Oluchi Marc added over 4 years ago

I wish our families'll allow us do this kind of wedding. Just like Pepple said, u av less things to worry about. But trust parents...already talking about different contigents!

by Nkechi Cassandra Nwuka added over 4 years ago

A small romantic wedding is the best,forget about what people will say,some wouldn't contribute they will come and give advice on how to spent your money and cause trouble with them not eating or going home with souvenir.So one should cut his or her coat according to her cloth...........

by adetola adeniyi added over 4 years ago

A small but classy and romantic wedding really makes an ever lasting impression than a big classless big wedding.Cut your cloth according to your size;never go beyond your budget to please people.

by Olorunkoya Iyanuoluwa added over 4 years ago

its all abt having ur dream wedding

by Fidelia Uwaoma added about 4 years ago

i think we are all right but the issue still remains thats cuting cot according to our size is not the point even the small wedding cost even more than large or call it big wedding. is all about talking to God to show us which one to do when the right time comes. but we all know if there is cash every girls dream is to show off on her wedding day especially when d ceremony is confortable with all ur invited guest. RSVP mogbo mo ya

by Helen added about 4 years ago

thanx so much for that wonderful writeop i think i need to print it out and show it to friends and family who believe that if a wedding is not big and expensive then it is not worth it. the bottom line is WISDOM

by Hannah added about 4 years ago

This write-up touched my mind. The smaller the wedding the better. There is life after the wedding day, that is the marriage itself. Y should one spend millions of naira for just a day, and be hungry at home. I wish my parent can allow me to do a parlour wedding and I go on with my life.

by Grace Udie-Anah added about 4 years ago

I love this piece...

by bimpe added about 4 years ago

i soo much love this write up...i know am not in for a big wedding

by Chinwe Mary added over 3 years ago

i love this write up cos that is exactly what i want

by princessblossom added about 3 years ago

Hi... Very Educating and lovely... sure love it...
Thanks...

by Ruth added over 1 year ago

Hello everyone, my fiancee and i votes For a small and simple wedding.
Keeping it small and simple makes it classier and keeping it classier makes it not cheap but richer! So, we will Definately have a simple wedding cos we are classical! lol

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