You’re thinking about spending the rest of your life with that special person and now, it has finally happened; your man has gotten down on his knee, slid the ring of your dreams on your finger, and asked you to stay with him for the rest of your life. Now what? Well, before you go running into the sunset ‘happily ever after’, do you really know them as well as you think? There are some very important things you must find out about your potential intended {husband/wife} before you say ‘I do’. Don’t be scared; remember “a broken engagement is better than a broken marriage”.

 In order to save yourself some heartache you need to find out how your fiancé feels about these very important areas you need to know about (or they need to know about you).

You need to know what to expect after the wedding day, and to decide if you really want to spend the rest of your life with this person the way they are now. Chances are they (and you) won’t change that much, so if you really want to know who you are agreeing to love, work through these questions together.

There’s no hurry—take all the time you need. But there’s one rule. You must be completely, gut-wrenchingly honest!

 

PURPOSE
My biggest goal in life is to…

I find satisfaction in…

My dream is to someday…

 

PAST

The worst part about my childhood that I don’t want to repeat itself, is…

The scariest thing that ever happened to me was…

A past situation that could affect my future is…

The way I feel about my past relationship history is…

 

WHO I AM

My biggest fears in life are…

My biggest needs in life are…

My most frequent mood is…

The thing I hate most is…

The thing I worry about most is…

Three things I want to change about myself are…

Three things I really like about myself are…

My most common daydream is…

My overall opinion about myself is…

I think my greatest personality asset is…

My greatest personality weakness is…

I find the greatest enjoyment in…

Someone I greatly admire is…

I feel happy when…

I have no use for people who…

When someone acts rude to me, I…

When someone is unfair, I…

I feel jealous of…

My dream vacation would include…

The things I find the most fun are…

My favorite sport(s) is…

Watching sports on T.V. is a [ ] for me on a scale from one to ten.

When I am afraid (substitute sad, angry, happy, lonely, tired), I…

My hobbies include…

What hurts me most is…

When someone is angry with me, I…

When someone is disappointed in me, I…

The worst (and best) thing about the opposite sex is…

Being teachable means…

 

MARRIAGE

My reasons for wanting to get married are…

I think the keys to a good marriage are…

Relationships in the past have taught me…

My parents had a [ ] marriage.

I learned [ ] about marriage from my parents.

I think the things in marriage you should be honest about are…

The areas I’m concerned about being married are…

The areas I’m excited about being married are…

Marriage for me will be giving up…

Marriage for me will be gaining…

I think separate vacations are…

Traveling together is…

When having conflict, I like to...

1. Cool off by myself before discussing the problem;

2. Discuss and work the problem out right away;

3. Pretend there is no problem and just move on;

4. Analyze the problem as to what it is, why it happened, how to avoid it in the future, etc…

 

The best way to handle disagreements is to…

What I anticipate most about marriage is…

The role of in-laws in marriage is…

The thing that will make me most secure (and insecure) in marriage is…

Love is…

“Till death do us part” means…

I think people should be allowed to divorce when…

 

SEX

I think sex is/will be…

I think a healthy marriage involves sex [ ] per week or [ ] per month.

I’m aware that real sex in marriage differs from Hollywood in the following ways…

On a scale from one to ten, sex is a [ ] in importance in a good marriage for me.

Talking about sex feels…

Being spontaneous or creative in marriage sex so

 

MONEY/FINANCES
I think money is…

The biggest waste of money is…

The best investment of money is…

I have [ ] in personal debt.

I use credit cards for…

I think car loans are…

My savings plan is…

My retirement plan is…

The way I feel about tithing is…

I hope my spouse is a: saver, spender, somewhere in between.

On a scale from one to ten, financial security is [ ] in importance to me.

I want to save up to buy a…

The kind of house I want to own someday is…

Charities I want to contribute to are…

 

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE

Is my own appearance important to me?

Is it important that my spouse maintains his/her current physical appearance/weight throughout our marriage?

How important is hygiene to me, i.e. brushing teeth, taking showers, deodorant, etc.?
How do I like to dress for special occasions? For church? For dates? For work?

Do I want to be able to have a say in my spouse’s choice of clothing, hairstyle, or general appearance?

Do I care if they have a say in mine?

Is cologne/perfume important to me?

What physical features are attractive to me?

 

HOUSEHOLD

How clean is a home that is comfortable for me?

What is my favorite thing about home?

What can I not tolerate in my home (noise, clutter, dirt, pets, unmade beds, etc.)?

How many/which jobs do I think I should do to keep my house maintained?

How many/which jobs do I think my spouse should do around the house?

Who will make decisions for and carry out decorating the home (spouse, both, hired out)?

Who will pay what bills? List bills

 

RECREATION

My idea of recreation is…

The way I relax on the weekends is by…

What areas of recreation do I want my spouse to accompany me on?

What areas of recreation do I want to do with my friends or alone?

How often will I want to spend time away from the family in my own recreation?

 

KIDS

I think kids are…

Kids get on my nerves when they…

I love it when kids…

The way I feel about other people’s kids is…

Kids should be disciplined when…

The way I want to discipline my kids is…

The role of a parent is…

I want [ ] kids someday.

How important is showing physical affection to my kids?

Is telling my kids I love them important?

How much time do I think I should spend with my kids daily?

How important is two-parent interaction and discipline?

I think the bottom line for discipline should be with the (mom, dad or both)?

How important is it for kids to respect their parents in my home?

Where do I want my kids educated (private school, religious school, home school, etc.)?

 

HEALTH/HISTORY
Taking care of myself and my health is [ ] important to me.

I think a healthy lifestyle includes…

To me, eating right means…

My idea of a good work out is…

My health problems (present or past) are…

I take medication for…

People in my family have a history of the following health problems…

 

INTIMACY

I feel loved when…

The way I show love to other female/male have what limits …

Which of the following are ways I feel most loved? Time spent with, words of Encouragement / praise, gifts, being touched and hugged in a non-sexual manner, when people do things for (serve) me.

Showing affection in front of kids or friends is…

Intimacy is developed through…

I think a good marriage needs at least [ ] hours a day (or week) of focused communication to stay

connected.

Is saying “I love you necessary or compulsory?

 

WORK

My idea of a dream job is…

I think the average number of hours a person can regularly work a week and maintain family commitment is…

Providing for the family is whose responsibility?

My career plans are…

How important is a steady job to me?

What kind of work ethic do I want in my mate?

Where do I draw the line with a job that demands too much time?

 

 

 

SPIRITUALITY/RELIGION

The way I feel about God is…

On a scale of one to ten, going to church/mosque is [ ] in importance for our life and future.

I want to raise my kids in the [ ] faith.

If yes, how will I make Him the center?

Prayer is something I do when…personal or family

Other religions besides Christianity are…

On a scale from one to ten, obeying God and His word is a [ ] to me.

 

A lot of couples end up in divorce court as a result of not doing their homework before getting married. By asking these very important questions at least you get beyond the exterior of your partner and get deeper into how you can both excel in your relationship.